The Orchard
by beylah-Obscurus
Summary: In a time where magic made monsters of the best of them there are rumours of abduction, murder, and betrayal. A plot unfolds that could change the shape of the war forever. As the war continues to build, a young witch, entangled in secrets, comes face-to-face with her demons. The question becomes, is Mary MacDonald strong enough or will she continue to crumble?
1. Chapter 1: Welcome

There is a belief that for change to occur all someone must do is get rid of the voices inside their head. However, no one said what to do if it was the feelings that clung on that cast the deepest of shadows, or the images that twisted their way into a nightmare. What was one to do then? Anything? Could someone simply absorb this feelings?

It was there that Mary found herself on 1 September. The sky was overcast and a strong wind was blowing in from the east. The usually bright red train that in years passed had glittered in the sun didn't have the glimmer it usually held. Instead, the red was muted and cold.

Mary walked down the platform and while she patted down her flying hair, a wayward Hufflepuff scarf blew up and hit her in the face. She grinned slightly at the younger student whose eyes widened and collected their scarf. The Hufflepuff, with significant difficulty, wrapped the scarf around her neck another time to keep it from blustering away.

Mary waved away the concern and pushed her trunk onto the train. She ignored the well-meaning parents around her as they clung to their children. She could, at least, say she didn't have to worry about overly touchy parents. No, the MacDonald's were not that sort of family. The trunk bounced behind her whilst she made her way to the end of the train where she knew Mafalda would have saved a seat for her.

Mafalda was early for everything and every year she would save the same compartment. People still talked about the time in third year when James Potter had sat there for shits and giggles. Mafalda had hexed him so bad he had to wait for an adult to reverse the spell. Mary did not complain. It was consistent and saved her the anxiety of trying to find a seat. It also allowed her to avoid those she had to.

The train was already buzzing with noise. There were the squeals of girls when they saw their mates, and the chortles of the boys who were appreciating the girls who had gotten fit over the summer months. There were sparks of reds and yellows flowing out of the compartments, while other compartments were shut tight to intruders.

There was little excitement for Mary. It was her sixth year here and the magic of the place had worn off. She was tethered to the place like a puppet. She knew the motions, but now it just seemed like a place to go and do school rather than the place of dreams. Magic, for all it could do, created beasts and monsters of them all.

Finally, she reached their compartment and, as expected, Mafalda was there with her things spread out on the seats around her. Mafalda was sitting with her knees brought up to her chest and her left hand balancing on her leg as she painted her nails.

"Alright, Maf?" Mary asked, her voice sounded choked, but Mafalda didn't seem to notice as she peered at Mary with owlish eyes.

"Alright, do you like this colour?" she said and held up her other hand which was already done. It was a bright purple.

"It's nice."

"I think it makes your skin look gray," a voice said from behind. Mary turned to see Florence behind her carrying her customary bored expression.

"It's always great to see you too, Florence," Mafalda said with a slight smile. Florence shrugged and pushed her way into the compartment and shoved her own trunk under the seats while Mary lifted hers onto the rack above.

Mary settled in the corner with a book and Florence plopped down beside her and rested her feet against the seat opposite. She inspected her nails severely before swiping Mafalda's nail polish and started painting her own.

"Do you mind if I borrow this?" Florence asked as she started painting on the first coat. Mafalda frowned, but didn't say anything as she blew lightly on her own nails to dry them.

"Did you come alone again, Mary?" Mafalda asked after a moment of silence.

"Don't be silly, of course she did," Florence muttered. Her black eyes flashed with annoyance. Mary shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her book.

The compartment door opened again to reveal a tall, slightly gangly looking red head whose hair was mused as if she had forgotten to brush it this morning. Chances were, she had. Lily always seemed to have a mission and that didn't usually include a dynamic morning routine.

"Hi, Lily," Mafalda said.

"Hi, have you guys seen Laura? I've been looking for her and I haven't seen her anywhere," Lily asked. Half her body was in the compartment, the other was outside holding onto her trunk. She gave the appearance of ready to bolt at the word.

"No, though it's so crowded here I wouldn't be surprised if you just missed her," Mafalda replied. She blew on her nails a few times to get them to dry. Florence snorted, brought out her wand and performed a simple drying spell on them. "Thanks, Florence."

"Ah- well-" Lily said, as she dithered in the entry for a few moments. She looked up and down the hall outside. "Probably. Mind if I sit here then?"

"Course not," Mafalda replied. Lily smiled, her eyes brightened, and she pushed her large trunk in and with the help of Mafalda put it up on the racks above.

"God, I think they get heavier ever year," Lily commented before sitting in an empty seat by Mafalda.

"Or maybe we just get weaker and the universe is permanently against us," Florence said with a frown. She lifted her fingers up into the light and looked at her now coloured nails. "This is a terrible colour I'll have you know."

"I think it's nice," Lily said. Florence rolled her eyes and threw the polish out the window.

"Hey!" Mafalda said, outrage flashed across her round face. Florence shrugged her shoulders and leaned her head against her seat. Mafalda stood up, but at that moment there was a whistle and the rumble of the train could be felt vibrating underneath their feet. "That was new, Florence."

"How was everyone's summers?" Mary piped in. She brushed her brown hair out of her face and closed the book; however, she still held her thumb inside to keep her page. This seemed to distract everyone from the present problem and they settled into their seats as the train picked up speed to take them to their home for the year.

They began chatting about the long summer which was no summer at all and was unseasonably rainy and cold the whole time. It just rained and rained and rained. Mary spent the whole summer working for her uncle's magical toy emporium as a shop clerk and hadn't seen any of her mates at all. She lived in Cornwall, so she was hours away from everything and everyone as Florence always said.

The other three continued to talk around her, but Mary already opened her book and was reading it without taking much in. It was a smutty romance novel that she read simply to escape from having to converse too much.

She still caught onto the important bits of the conversation though - Florence spent most of her summer in Russia at her grandparents' place and then vacationed on the coast of France. You'd never know it with her pale skin though. Mafalda said she played with her cat and then flashed her prefect badge. Florence shot a gloating sort of look to Lily who chose at that moment to glance out the window.

"I spent most of my summer with my parents – mostly just trying to… avoid someone," Lily said. She let the statement hang there to gather dust.

No one asked about whom it was. This could have been out of respect or not wishing to indulge Lily in her pretend mysteries. by now, everyone knew who that was. The conversation moved forward onto more mundane topics like whom the new Arithmancy teacher would be and if Hagrid would still be gamekeeper after Dumbledore found a cross-bred animal in his hut last year.

The landscape flashed quickly by the window in a blur of colour. There were the fields and tall, gnarly trees that marked property lines that slowly turned into rolling landscape with hills and the look of autumn overtook the new landscape. Faded greens and flecks of brown. Sheep huddled closer together and farmers were wearing an extra layer as they walked through their flocks. Mafalda left partway through to go to a prefect meeting and soon it ended up being only the three girls.

Florence spent the time poking Mary and blowing bubbles with her chewing gum while Lily pulled out her textbooks.

The trolley woman came and left taking with her the scent of sweetness. None of the girls bought anything. Some students popped their head in briefly to say hello, but the rest of the journey to Hogwarts passed rather uneventfully, so when it finally chugged to a slow stop at Hogsmeade station Mary was halfway through her book.

Once their robes were on, Lily disappeared into the crowds at the station and Florence led Mary to an empty carriage where Mafalda soon met up with them and jumped in herself.

"That meeting was awful, Patil got on this trip that this year was going to be the greatest yet and there would be no rule infractions. Load of bullocks. Don't get me wrong, it's irritating enough to have people gallivanting off after curfew and not studying, but to waste all our time for hours on end on how we need to be vigilant was ridiculous! I have a strict study schedule I need to adhere to that's more important than babysitting first years." She said with a roll of her eyes.

A couple other students piled into the carriage as well, but they stared warily at the three sixth year girls. Younger Gryffndors, but ones they had never talked to be before. Mafalda smiled at them, but Florence simply laughed and blew another bubble with her gum.

"You know what I'm really pee'd at?" Florence asked when they were finally heading up to the castle on foot. She pulled at her hair in frustration. Hair that was so dark it seemed to match the darkened sky.

"Life?" Mafalda asked, a grin spreading across her face. Florence glared at her for a moment before tossing her hair over her shoulder.

"No, - just – you realize that the only reason Lily sat with us was because her little bestie from Ravenclaw wasn't available? Probably hid from Lily's prowling and Lily didn't want to be left alone." Florence said with annoyance. She didn't even keep her voice down, and a few Hufflepuff's looked over their shoulder with interest at the gossip.

"Florence, really now," Mary said softly and shrugged her shoulders. "She hasn't seen us all summer and she probably just wanted to catch up. Don't be so cruel."

"Believe whatever you want to Mary dearest, but I think deep down you know the truth. Especially with how she treated you-" Florence started. An ugly look crossed her face that she kept especially for when she was annoyed. Mafalda always said this was why Florence could never get boyfriend.

"Because you're always so right," Mafalda said interrupted. She wiggled her eyebrows at Florence and just as quickly sidestepped a rather large puddle in the path up the castle. Florence couldn't help but laugh.

"Both you and I know that's the truth, Maffy darling." Florence patted Mafalda on the head and ran up ahead of them to avoid Mafalda's flailing arms. Florence flounced up the stairs two at a time until she reached the Entrance Hall.

Students milled past Mary and Mafalda. They danced up the stairs and into the Great Hall eager for the feast to begin. A sea of black rushing forth like bats from a cave. Mary and Mafalda took their time though, taking in the slightly musky smell of the castle which that hadn't been lived in for two months and waving to Nearly Headless Nick who was floating by the door to the Great Hall.

The stones were colder to Mary this time. She supposed it was only because the place had been deserted and once life sprung back here, the stones and halls would also bounce to life. Maybe, however, she knew she was being optimistic when she thought that. It was as cold inside as it was outside. Unwelcoming, even with the low glowing candles and friendly ghosts that always lined the Entrance Hall when the students came back. The feelings that clung on like rabid dogs were the things the hardest to get rid of. Their influence would seep into every crevice of one's life without getting permission.

Someone bumped against Mary, causing her to stumble forward, and if not for Mafalda grabbing onto her arm she would have laid sprawled on the ground. When Mary looked up she saw a couple of the Slytherin boys smirking at her. They waited for her to look up to notice it was them before they swished their robes and headed to their table. Mary stay still for a moment, her brown eyes peculiarly blank. It was like her limbs had forgotten how to move. It wasn't till Mafalda pulled her forward that she broke out of her trance.

She should have expected it. Built up a reserve of expectation so it wouldn't have thrown her so off guard. Especially since she received a free train ride where nothing happened. It was only natural. Mary shook her head at herself and told herself that next time she'd expect it. The other girls were not to know how it affected her. That was her goal this year.

She tried to ignore the stares she felt coming from the Slytherin table. She would always sit with her back facing that table. She claimed it was a habit she had developed in first year. No one pushed to say it only started closer to the end of last year. The two girls sat down by Florence who was already sitting halfway down the Gryffindor table.

"I'll beat them tomorrow," Florence said. She wasn't looking at Mary when she said this, but Mary shrugged her shoulders with a slow roll. "It doesn't make any sense because you're like them!"

"I'm a Gryffindor," Mary said. She brushed her long frizzy brown hair away from her eyes and watched the first years get led in. There was a buzz of excitement. There was a feeling of endless possibilities this year drifting from the rest of the student body. Mary was convinced that this was only a show, a play to cover up the fire that lay at their feet. "Anyway, it doesn't even matter. I'd rather if you just left it alone."

"Mary-" Florence began her black eyes flashing.

"Oh for goodness sakes just drop it, Florence," Mafalda said. She was sitting opposite them and had previously been paying attention to the students filling in. The candles flickered above and the Bloody Baron swooped in from the back wall and let out a bellowing yell. "Also, it wouldn't hurt to pay attention to the Sorting. This is a whole new year." Florence laughed a little and tapped her fingers against the rough table top.

"Hey," Lily said and slid into a seat beside them. "I still haven't spotted Laura anywhere. I've searched everywhere and when I look over at the Ravenclaw table I don't see her!" Lily pulled at her hair which was pulled back into a tight knot at the nape of her neck now. Bits of it were sticking up.

"I don't know, maybe a Professor had to talk to her or something," Mary said.

"Maybe, it's just unlike her to not tell me she wouldn't be around," Lily said. Her eyes were still on the Ravenclaw table.

"Isn't that her there?" Florence said. She rolled her eyes and pointed to the tall, blonde haired girl who just walked into the Great Hall with Professor Flitwick. She slid into the first available seat at the Ravenclaw table while Flitwick said something to her before he continued on his way to the staff table.

"There she is! Weird that she's come in so late though," Lily said with relief in her voice. "I'll catch her when the sorting is done."

With that, the four girls turned to the front for the new year that was about to be begin. None of them knew what to expect or what was waiting for them, but as the hat opened its slit to sing, rare found optimism wrapped itself around them. Mary sighed, and still holding tightly onto the bench below, she prayed for release all the while knowing that memories were cheap, it was the forgetting bit that cost everything.

* * *

 _I_ _certainly hope you like the beginning of this and continue reading! I know it's a little slower, but I hope there is something that captures your attention. I'm hoping to span the last two years at Hogwarts. I firmly believe that the seeds of Voldemort are already in play and that these seeds will be playing a very important role as the story continues. There is a little romance is included, but I'm a slow burn kind of person and if you came here for romance, it is not the feature of this story. I wanted to focus more on friendship, trauma, and the things people do to survive._

 _All recognizable work belongs to JKR and no copyright infringement intended._

 _Thanks to Wistful and HeyMrsPotter for helping edit the first drafts of this work._


	2. Chapter 2: These Walls

The cold weather hung on for a several days after the start of term. It left a chill in the air that the wide fireplaces and the hanging candles couldn't chase away. It certainly did not aid the air of suspicion that had fallen upon the castle when word leaked out that Laura White, the seventh year Ravenclaw, had been floo'd into Hogwarts.

"They say her uncle was kidnapped," Florence said.

"I heard it was her parents, her little brother, and the boogie man who wears a top hat who was involved," Mafalda responded idly. She was twirling a quill around in the ink well and a half written essay was in front of her.

"She doesn't have a little brother," Florence shot back. Mafalda shrugged her shoulders.

"Then go gossip with someone who cares," Mafalda responded deadpanned. Florence let her face fall onto the wooden table in front of her.

"But, I hate everyone," came her muffled response.

It was only natural for people to become so invested. They'd had a whole summer hearing reports that there was something not right going on within the Ministry. There were rumours of leaked top secret information, deaths in odd places up and down the country that no one would confirm, and idle gossip that the Minister was controlling what could be published in the Daily Prophet. There was something not quite right going on, and the whispers of a rising dark power made students believe that they were faced with a child of war.

A curiosity.

Mary sat quietly with them, but stayed out of the conversation. She'd rather avoid the drama, even if, as Florence said, it was the most exciting thing that has happened at Hogwarts so far. Mary reckoned Laura would like her privacy.

"Are we ready to go back to the common room?" Mary asked after several minutes of silence. Mafalda's quill stopped its writing and she looked up.

"I suppose. I have a well enough start on this Defense essay on nonverbal magic that it shouldn't be hard to finish tomorrow after class," Mafalda said and closed up her ink well.

"Thrilling," Florence said. She didn't have to close any of her books as she hadn't opened any to begin with. "I'm just glad the week is nearly over."

"We've barely even started the year and you're complaining already?" Mafalda said. Florence shrugged.

"Well, it'll be nice to have the weekend to relax in any case," Mary replied diplomatically. The girls stood up and left the study hall. There was only a couple left in the hall now and Slughorn was slumped in a chair with his eyelids half closed. Supervision never suited their potions professor who'd rather have hosted a dinner or taken a walk.

"Hey!" a voice called to them from down the hall. They turned to see Lily running to catch up with them. Her hair flew out behind her, and her face was flushed.

"Excellent," Florence said under her breath and rolled her eyes. "Ran all the way to chat with us, Lily? How kind of you."

"Yes," she said with her hands on her knees, puffing for breath. "I'm so unfit!"

"You said it, not me," Florence replied, shrugging her shoulders. She started walking again with Mary close at her heels. Lily fell in beside Mary, her breathing still coming out in laboured gasps.

"Funny," she replied. She tried to untangle her hair and sighed in exasperation when her hand just got stuck in the tangles. "You guys think Laura is being weird, right? I was just at dinner with her and…" Lily trailed off and shrugged her shoulders, not really having any other words to add.

"Is my hair black?" Florence said scathingly. She took the steps two at a time and waited for the girls to catch up with her on the top of the landing.

"Exactly, but it doesn't make any sense. I mean, she tells me everything and now I have to, like, drag her through the coals for her to even speak to me," Lily said, biting her lower lip. "What do you think, Mary?"

Mary didn't respond right away and ignored the look Florence threw over her shoulder. It had been a conversation Lily had brought up many times in the last week in their dormitory. Mary had pretended to be asleep though and hadn't had to say anything at the time. She couldn't very well avoid this conversation though, so she shrugged. It wasn't like she was trying to be heartless, but she knew her words wouldn't be taken that seriously from the distraught redhead.

"I don't know, she'll probably tell you when she's ready," Mary responded. She took a deep breath though; there was something familiar in the hollowness in Laura's eyes that Mary knew all too well. It pulled at her memory, but she didn't want to see it or even acknowledge that it was there.

"I really feel like she needs to talk about it though," the redhead responded.

"If you think so," Mary mumbled.

"I do, I just needed to hear it from someone else, really. She just, we saw each other over the summer and she was fine then. She was looking at jobs for next year. I have also been scouring the Daily Prophet just to see if there was anything there, but nothing! I need to know. It would make helping her much easier."

Before anyone could respond though, they heard the distinct sound of Peeves' laughter and soon he came into view when they turned down a corridor on the fifth floor. He was twirling around in circles and throwing something slimy at the portraits.

"Em-" Lily said and watched as Peeves moved nearer to them. They heard him cackling as he got closer and there was no use running because he would always be faster. He liked the chase as much as the actual chaos he created.

"Hey, Peeves," Florence said as he was hovering over them with a black gooey substance in his hands. "What's that you've got?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," he sang and laughed. He twirled in the air and drops fell out of his hands and onto the ground. "Or maybe you would."

They eyed him cautiously as his zigzagged around, contemplating if they were the right recipients of his concoction. He seemed to come to some sort of conclusion and flicked a few specks of goo at them. A few drops landed on Mary's arm and it oozed down her pale skin sickeningly slowly.

"First years are coming," Florence said and pointed behind her. Peeves let out a howl and zoomed past the three of them with exuberance.

"You really shouldn't have done that," Lily said. Her eyebrows arched, and she placed a hand on her hip. Florence rolled her eyes and kept walking.

"Who's stopping me, Lily dear? It got him off our backs," Florence said. They continued walking down the corridor, Florence in seemingly good humour, skipped to another staircase with Lily, Mafalda, and Mary following at a slower pace.

Mary tried rubbing the goo off but it just smeared on her skin and darkened her fingers. She sighed and let her hands drop beside her. Lily didn't seem to have noticed and was still staring after Florence.

The portraits could be heard grumbling about the goop that was dripping from their canvases to the floor below. Mary tried to ignore it, but it smelt of dung and she was reminded of how unwelcome the castle was this year. It was like everything around her was rotting.

The mystery of Laura White heightened the jumpiness Mary felt. The way Laura looked intrigued her more than she would admit. There was something familiar in the way Laura acted, and Mary could only presume that some of the rumours were true. Something had happened over the summer that made her realize that life at Hogwarts was not so sweet anymore. It turned an intense, vivacious girl into a hollow shell.

They finally got to the common room. Mary quietly followed them through. They passed some rowdier third years who were playing Exploding Snap, a card game of speed, and Mary waved back to James Potter who was sitting with his mates playing chess. They got back to their dormitory and she quickly pulled out her book and headed to the great bay window by her bed.

She found herself gazing out of the window into the foggy evening air than reading. She watched the raindrops fall on the glass and zigzag all the way down like shooting stars. Drops of wishes that all too quickly disappeared. The tip of the chimney of Hagrid's hut and some of the branches from the Whomping Willow seemed to carve their way through the fog. It gave an eerie appearance to the grounds as though apparitions had appeared.

As the night wore on, Elsie, their elusive fifth roommate scampered in from who knows where. Perhaps the library, but not on thought to ask. She wouldn't have answered anyway. She never talked to her dormmates. The girls settled for the night and the candles that lit up the room in ghostly shadows were slowly melting down and flickering out as each girl closed the hangings around their bed.

When the next day dawned, the cloud covering was gone and the grass outside of the castle glimmered in the early morning light. A slight coolness still lingered in the air though, and it left a mist hovering above the lake. Every few moments the stillness of the water was interrupted by a splash made from the tentacles of the squid or the jumping of a fish.

Mary was the first awake. She padded down to the common room with her book. The embers of the fire were just bursting back to life and she sat down on the couch facing the fire. She knew she would still have at least an hour before others would be awake.

The sound of the turning pages disrupted the stillness of the empty common room, but Mary felt most alive in the stillness. She probably was the only one awake now, and she always embraced the fact that the common room was hers.

However, a few minutes later the sound of footsteps interrupted Mary's concentration. She looked over to the stairs to see James coming down the boys' steps. He had his uniform already on, even if it wasn't tucked in, and his hair was sticking up at odd angles. He pushed his glasses higher on his nose as he sauntered into the common room.

"Morning, Mary," he said.

"Hey, what are you doing awake?" Mary asked. She closed her book and placed it beside her. He sat in one of the armchairs and gazed into the growing flames.

"I don't know, just been thinking and couldn't sleep. It's bloody annoying," he replied.

"Oh," Mary said. There was a time she'd have said that thinking wasn't his strong suit and they'd have laughed, but he'd say what he was thinking anyway just to spite her. But that had changed within her.

"You remember when we used to play with Wilkes?" he said after a while. His face looked pale and drawn.

"Yeah, but that was when we were kids," Mary said. She chanced a look over at James in hopes that he hadn't noticed how her body had tensed. He didn't seem to be paying much attention to her though and instead seemed to be captivated by the flames' steady dance.

"Before Hogwarts, I know," James said. He let out a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. "You remember those silly games we'd play? When he'd be the knight and had to save you from me, the nasty dragon, who had kidnapped you for a tasty midnight snack?"

"Yeah." Mary was watching the fire intently, but not liking the way her memories were moving now. How the flashes of a young boy with dirt blonde hair would always follow them around with a giddy smile.

"But you'd get so bored waiting to be saved you'd always get up and attack me from the behind?" James said with a hollow laugh. Mary smiled briefly as well; she remembered how simple things had been once. How easy being fully alive was.

"What made you think of this?" Mary asked. She tucked her hair behind her ears and halfway hoped he'd just shrug his shoulders. Make some stupid James like comment like he wanted to be a dragon so he could breathe fire on all the damn Slytherin's before going off to nick some food.

"Shit, Mary. Things are just so messed up, you know? I've been having these dreams about it, and I thought I'd forgotten because it honestly _doesn't_ matter. We were kids. Wilkes is a prick, but this summer has just been mental," he replied.

"You're not making much sense."

"As always," he replied with a small smirk. "Mr. Wilkes came by our house a few times this summer. Which is weird itself because as you know our parents lost contact with them."

Mary nodded and thought of how their families used to friends. How they'd come back from their adventures all muddy and happy, but their parents were always angry with them. They'd drag the kids off home with shaking heads because they weren't expected to be such hooligans. It wasn't how a Wilkes or MacDonald or Potter should act. They were supposed to be respectable, but every time they'd get together the same thing would happen.

But things had changed. They always did. It was there when they were sorted and then again when Mr. Potter was transferred to law enforcement and her parents moved. The giddy blonde boy turned into a sullen Slytherin teenager and even Mary and James drifted apart. Friends, but never how they used to be. They had been kids then, Mary supposed. Things were always meant to change.

"Anyway, it's just- I don't bloody know, but they got in a fight, and it was over this war. It's just made it so clear how wrong we'd been about them," James said. He frowned and picked at a frayed edge of the armchair in annoyance. Mary remained quiet because she knew he hadn't gotten to the point yet. James meandered around his ideas. He'd displace his anger because he didn't know how to deal with emotions. He didn't have to as a kid because he was an only son from a rich family.

"But, before Hogwarts, was it really all that important what we believed?" Mary asked finally when she started worrying that the armchair wouldn't have any more threads left after James was done with it.

"No, I guess not. We were blissfully ignorant, but –" James stopped again and stared into the flames. "I just keep having this bloody nightmares that if…" A few more threads were picked clean off the armchair. James let them fall to the ground. "I don't even know why because Wilkes is an arse and I don't care a hippogriff's fart about him." Mary raised her eyebrows at him when he said this.

"But there's history there," Mary responded quietly. The words seemed like poison to her lips. How she hated that word. History. It would be better if history could simply be that and nothing else. But it had fangs.

"Yah – I hate that. It makes me so angry. Things changed so much. First we were best mates and then suddenly not at all. The switch flipped so fast. I hated him because he was Slytherin and he despised us because we were Gryffindor. We were light and he was darkness. Do you remember our first summer back?" Mary nodded.

"Yah, he barely came around anymore."

"I was so convinced then that he was just jealous because we got to go to Hogwarts a year earlier then him and he just got his pureblood knickers in a right twist. I thought he was so stupid and I cut him off."

"So did I," Mary responded. He saw the anguish in James' face and wondered how much he'd been bottling up and for how long. He was known as the budding optimist, so it was hard to know.

"It's just that – I keep thinking that if I hadn't cut him off so easily. If I'd tried that summer and the year after perhaps – perhaps he wouldn't have become this pureblood fanatic. Perhaps he could have changed his parents too. If they saw something different."

"James…" But there was a noise on the stairwell that stopped her voice.

"Gods, Mary, why are you awake? Why am I awake?" she complained. She yawned and dropped her head onto Mary's lap. "Friday's are rubbish. I woke up and saw that I still have this nasty colour of varnish on my nails. It made me want to get sick on Mafalda, to be honest."

"You're always such a great friend, Florence," James said. He rolled his eyes, and Florence shrugged.

"I do my best," she stated.

"Well, I'm going for breakfast, 'fraid I can't ignore my stomach any longer," James said. Mary looked at him carefully, but he simply shrugged his shoulders as if to say don't worry about it. He got up and left before any further words could be said.

Mafalda soon joined them, and they too headed down for the Great Hall. Mary walked beside Florence and let the two of them talk about their classes, but Mary was stuck on her conversation with James. It stirred up history she wished would remain buried, but it had a way of weaving its way into her consciousness.

Mary sighed and reminded herself of what her mum always liked to say ' _MacDonalds always know how to control oneself and one's thoughts'._ With that in mind she shifted her thoughts instead on predicting which landing the stairwells would go when they started moving and counting how many portraits had gold in their background. It helped her untangle her thoughts and make her feel less like she was spinning out of control.

Mary MacDonald was certainly spinning, but she simply refused to acknowledge such an event. So, when they finally reached the Great Hall, she had locked the thoughts away. She kept her back predictably to the Slytherin table, and she listened to Florence as she talked how she might go on a diet.

The three girls picked some toast and filled their cups with tea. Mary looked up into the charmed ceiling at the nearly cloudless sky and the bright sun. A few birds were flying about, twisting in the sky like they were dancing with the wind. She briefly thought of what it would be like to be them. Up, up, and away.

Away from Laura who'd become a walking, haunting memory. Away from Wilkes, the war, and the Slytherins. She would if she could glide above it. That, she knew, would be better than anything.


	3. Chapter 3: Ancients

Mary was sitting in the back of the library when Laura White found her. The blonde hovered by her study table. Mary let her hair hang in front of her for a few moments pretending to be concentrating on her book as she tried to determine the reason behind the visit. They'd never talked before. But, she could not figure out what the Ravenclaw would want to with her, so she turned to face Laura.

"Yes?" Mary asked. Laura shifted on her feet, but didn't say anything. Instead, her eyes darted to the tombs that surrounded them. Silence hung between them like the thick dust that hung in the air. Mary stared with her wide, owlish eyes, but no words came out of Laura's mouth. Laura looked behind her, as if expecting someone else to be around. They were deep within the library, however, and it was rare for other students to venture there. The books around them were useless to the average student and the light too dim and the dust too thick for studying. It was one of the reasons why Mary chose this spot, there usually was no one here.

"Em-" Laura whispered. Her voice sounded like a thin, frayed wire that couldn't carry its own frequency well. "Well, I just-" her voice faltered yet again. Her eyes instead caught onto the fireflies that made their home this deep within the library. It was dark enough for them to vaguely glow, but instead of glowing an orangey red, they glowed green. It reminded Mary of the Raven's Flame in Finland. She'd been entranced with them when she first saw them here. She loved them, perhaps because it was one of the few things she still could love in this world.

"These are pretty." Mary looked at them again.

"They are usually in the Forbidden Forest, but some are found in the castle too if it's dark enough. They'll go deeper into the library or the dungeons later in the day when it gets brighter. But I see them here in the morning sometimes. Plus, it's been so cloudy and dark recently that they've come out more," Mary responded.

"Why do you come here, it's so dark. How can you study?" Laura carried the conversation on. Mary looked at the lantern which was giving a bit more light. Mary shrugged her shoulders. Laura bit down on her lower lip and leaned casually against the bookshelf next to her. However, her shoulders were tense and her hands were balled into fists next to her.

When it was clear Mary wouldn't respond, Laura let out a sigh. Her face went from slightly expectant to ashen and drawn. The same face that the school had seen in the last couple weeks of school. The once emotionally unattached girl seemed to be now, controlled by her emotions.

"Look – sorry for disturbing you. I'll.. I'll go," Laura finally said after the lengthy silence. Mary nodded and didn't bother to try and make the blonde feel like she hadn't. The truth of the matter is, Mary wanted her to go. For as simple as the question appeared to be, it would lead to more that Mary could not answer. She'd rather let Laura think that is a disturbance and all that Mary wanted was study.

It wasn't long after Laura left that Mary also packed up her bags. She could no longer focus on her Ancient Runes deciphering. It was close to class time anyway, so she might as well get going. She could get to Herbology a bit early and ask Sprout some questions about the uses of Aconite. There was an essay due in Potions and she'd chosen to focus on some of the ingredients from Wolfsbane. She decided to focus on researching whether the ingredients used also had powerful results in the other potions they were used for.

When Mary reached the Entrance Hall there was more people about, mostly coming out of the Great Hall from breakfast. Mary noticed that Florence was one of them. When her mate noticed her, her face scrunched up in annoyance.

"Mary!" She yelped and jogged meet up with her. "Why the hell weren't you at breakfast?"

"I was in the library," she responded. She glanced at Florence and saw her frown. Florence seemed to be in one of her more delightful moods this morning. When Florence was like this, she was like a time bomb. It was never clear why, but most recently it was happening around breakfast time. Mafalda reckoned Florence should be banned from the breakfast table.

"Of course you were," she seethed. She pulled on the edges of her hair dangerously hard, and Mary watched from her periphery of how she was gnawing on her bottom lip. "You really don't need to be in the library so much, Mary."

"My parents would have a fit if I have a rubbish year. It's NEWT's as you very well know," Mary replied. She smoothed out the creases in her uniform from sitting in the library for so long this morning.

"Yeah, well, they'd probably think differently if they saw you wasting away. Scratch that, they probably wouldn't even notice."

"I'm hardly wasting away," Mary replied.

"Why are you even in such a rush? You still have loads of time before class. We could sneak into the kitchens if you like," Florence said after a few minutes of silence between them. It wasn't uncomfortable, just a regular sort of pause between people who'd been friends for ages. Florence had compared their friendship to a puzzle and how you needed all the different pieces of puzzles to fit together. That was in third year and whether they were part of the same puzzle now was a matter of contention.

Mary knew though that Florence had been unwavering in her loyalty to her and it would have been something close to betrayal to question their friendship. Usually, Mary appreciated Florence's chatter. It filled up the spaces in her head that needed the noise.

"I don't like being late for class, and, again, my parents would go mental," Mary said softly. Though, she needn't have said it as it was clear to almost everyone in their year that Mary was always on time. James once said if they gave out awards, the punctuality one would go to Mary.

"They wouldn't even know," Florence pointed out. She rolled her eyes and stomped her feet. The sound of it echoed down the corridor making a group of third year Ravenclaws ahead of them turn around and stare. "We are at a boarding school in case you hadn't noticed."

"They have eyes everywhere, Florence. Everywhere!" Mary responded. She shook her head and hurried on down the corridor to the Front Entrance, passing the Ravenclaw group as she went. Florence flounced after her with an annoyed hiss. Mary ignored it; she knew Florence was just mad she wasn't getting her own way.

They didn't say anything for a few moments. Florence was attempting to keep up with Mary's clipped pace. A few portraits were muttered after them when Florence's bag bumped into a suit of armour and made it crash to the ground.

"You should clean that up," Mary said over her shoulder.

"You know, I think you have weird first-person-in-the-classroom compulsion that honestly, Mary, no one understands. It's weird," Florence said. She ignored the armour that banged against the ground and the Ravenclaws behind who were cussing at them. Florence pulled her bag higher onto her shoulder to stop it from bouncing against her legs.

They reached the door to outside and Florence just shook her head at Mary when she went outside.

"I'll see you after class," Mary said over her shoulder. They had Ancient Runes together after. Florence huffed and Mary heard the door bang close behind the irritated Gryffindor.

There was mist that hovered just above the rugged terrain and the sun was hiding behind thick clouds this morning. From behind, Mary heard the door open and close again and knew that she wouldn't have long to talk to Sprout about her essay. If it seemed like the ingredients had powerful properties, she could scrape by with a decent mark and make Slughorn believe he made the right choice about letting her into NEWT level classes. She was so intent on her thoughts she didn't notice the movement behind her and how the ones who'd came through the door had quickened their pace to catch up.

"Oh, look who it is," a slimy sort of voice said from behind her. Mary felt tension immediately form in her muscles. She knew the voice all too well. It visited her in her dreams.

"Poor thing, she doesn't have anyone to hide behind now. Where are your friends, Mary?" Avery said. Mulcibur and Avery looked at her with wide, toothy grins. Mary tried to ignore them, but couldn't stop her breath from catching.

"Funny thing that happened to Graces' family, tragic really," Mulcibur said. He laughed hollowly. He caught the look of confusion as it crossed Mary's face. "Oh right, you weren't at breakfast, so you wouldn't have heard. You were in the library. No matter, you'll hear the sad news soon, anyway."

"Seems like someone was saying things they shouldn't and the whole family, except for Olivia Grace here, has disappeared. Lucky for her really," Avery added in greasily. His breath tickled her ear. Mary doubted Olivia would feel lucky right now if the news was true.

"Don't want to get mixed up with the wrong sort of people, it seems. The repercussions are simply appalling; don't you agree, love?" His voice was soft, almost said in a way that seemed caring. Mary knew all too well the menace behind it though. Mulcibur knew how to hide and pretend to be something he wasn't. He was the perfect actor.

Mulcibur squeezed her hand and she jerked away. She ended up tripping over her feet as she did so and laid sprawled on the ground. Her hands burned from the pebbles crushed beneath them. She remained there until she heard their feet move off to god knows where. She knew they weren't in Herbology with her. A shiver ran though her body. They'd been following her. Even worse, they knew where she'd been.

There was a rip in her robes by the knee and it felt wet to touch. There was probably a cut there and she'd have to get Mafalda to mend later. There was no way she'd go to the Hospital Wing. They'd ask questions and there was no way she could answer.

Pushing herself up off the ground when she knew they were gone, she tried to ignore the tears that threatened to fall. She retreated to the castle, thoughts of her assignments and classes had fallen from her mind. Instead, she rushed into the woman's lavatory on the first floor. It was overflowing with water, which was coming out from one of the stalls. It was usually out of order because of Mrytle. Hardly anyone went in here and she knew she'd be safe from questioning eyes. She stuck her hands underneath a tap and washed away the dirt and grass stains. She scrubbed harder still as tears began to fall down her blotchy cheeks. She bit down on her lower lip the harder she rubbed and she let out a small gasp when fresh blood ran down her hands.

She stared at her hands. Her eyes wide with horror and turned the tap off. She was shaking. She couldn't stop. No matter how hard she commanded herself to, it was like the automatic part of her body took over and she couldn't stop. She let out a dry sob and sank to the floor. Her hands were laid out beside her. Mary was getting soaked and she couldn't imagine what her parents would say if they saw her right now. This wasn't the MacDonald way.

"Who's in my toilet?" a wispy, nasally sort of voice said. Mary looked up, horrified to be caught in this position by anyone. It was, however, only a ghost with large eyes and glasses. Myrtle.

"Nobody," Mary mumbled. She looked down and tried to ignore the silvery girl in front of her. The ghost seemed to take it as an affront though, and crossed her arms. The ghost hovered right above Mary's left shoulder.

"You don't look like a nobody, you have skin and bones and everything," the ghost said in a mournful sort of way. A sniffle was heard. "You have everything, and you're crying, but at least you're not – you're not dead!" The girl wailed and zoomed away, throwing herself back into a cubicle and water sprayed everywhere in her wake. Mary couldn't help but think with all the skin and bones she had, she still was very much a nobody.

Mary pulled her knees up to her chest. She could still feel Avery's breath on her neck. Flashes of dreams came back, but she couldn't quite put the images and words together. Everything that flashed in her mind seem disjointed and on fast forward. None of it made sense, but her heart pounding and her shaking body told her that whatever it was, she didn't want it to make sense.

She closed her eyes and counted to ten before reciting the twelve uses of Dragon's Blood. She would not – could not think of it anymore. It was simply dreams. She forced herself up, reciting the uses of Dragons Blood one more time to calm her beating heart. She glanced around the lavatory. It was dirty. A door to one of the toilets was hanging on its hinges. The metal taps were giving signs of rusting away.

She gulped down another sob and almost began to laugh when she imagined her parents walking in right now. They'd be infuriated. And ever so embarrassed for their precious family name. As if the name meant anything to anyone. Mary performed a quick drying charm and walked out of the bathroom without a second look back. Dreams, she reckoned, were only dreams and they deserved only to take up her nights. They could not take her days as well. Mary willfully ignored the vague feeling that it was somehow important and headed to her next class. By now it would be nearly the start of the next session.

Florence was sitting outside of the door, but was waiting on Mary before going in. Mary smiled slightly and hid her hands from Florence who would only be quick to point them out.

"You know, I don't even know why we let McGonagall talk us into continuing taking Runes. It's a rubbish class and I have absolutely no interest in it," Florence said. She followed Mary into the class. Professor Kade was sitting at her desk in the front, hunched over a piece of parchment. Mary zipped along the desks and found a seat close to one of the high rising windows.

"She thought it best we have another class since we never got into Transfiguration," Mary replied belatedly. She pulled out a roll of parchment and a quill to get ready for class. She sat erect in her chair, while Florence leaned her head against her hand and yawned widely. Mary didn't mention she liked the class and found it much more interesting than Transfiguration anyway.

"We could have had a free period," Florence said with a wave of nostalgia. "A free period in the morning, might I add. It would have been glorious, and you know it!"

A few more students wandered into the room. Mostly Ravenclaws and a few Hufflepuffs. The seats at the back of the class filled up, and a few students fell in close to where Mary and Florence were sitting by the window. Laura also walked in, which made Mary pause. Laura wasn't usually in this class; and it was rare for class schedules to change one they were set at Hogwarts. The blonde gazed around the classroom, her eyes briefly landed on Mary, before she settled in beside the other Ravenclaws.

"And Snape is in this class, it disgusts me," Florence said as said student came slinking into the class just before the start of class. "We should have dropped this at the end of last year so we didn't have to breathe the same air as him for another term!"

Mary nodded absently, but didn't look at the dark haired Slytherin when he made his way to the front of the room. She kept her face hidden by her long hair and scribbled the date on top of fresh piece of parchment. He'd have been the reason to drop this class.

But Mary did what she could do. She set the thoughts aside and decided only to pay attention to what was right in front of her. It was the thing she knew would get her through the year. She couldn't focus on the grime and the things that made it seem like toxic waste coated the castle.

"Does he even wash himself?" Florence speculated. She tapped her fingers on the desk for a few minutes when Mary didn't respond right away. "Maybe he cleans in those potions he brews, and that's why he seems to be dripping in something."

"Don't let him hear you say that Florence, he knows more hexes than anyone," Mary said just as the Professor stood up.

"You're sticking up for that dung face? Really, Mary?" Florence hissed.

"Miss Meadowes, if you are quite done with your conversation I think we should begin class," Professor Kade said sternly.

"Sorry Professor, you may begin," Florence said with a shrug. The class snickered, but the Professor didn't look impressed. Florence rolled her eyes at Mary, and laid her head against the desk once again. She began to massage the back of her neck as the Professor started her lecture about the magical community in Egypt.

Mary took in everything Professor Kade was saying and even underlined some of her notes. They were clean and tidy much like she tried to keep everything else in her life. Mary had to keep things in order. If anything, it reminded her to keep breathing.

Florence leaned over Mary's notes and drew Snape getting hit with a whipped pie. Mary let her quill hang mid note taking and stared at the animated picture. There was a half-smile on her face, but mostly annoyance at seeing the mess it made of her notes. Florence snorted at it, drawing the attention of Professor Kade who weaved her way through the desks and was looking down at the picture before anyone else could move.

"Miss MacDonald, I'm surprised. I'll let you know when your detention is," Professor Kade said and took the parchment away. Mary looked over at Florence who was shaking in her chair trying to keep from laughing.

"You couldn't tell the truth?" Mary said under her breath, but Florence didn't respond, just continued to make choking sounds as she tried to hold back her laughter. "My parents are going to send me a Howler."

Florence rolled her eyes at Mary before leaning her chair back so that she was balancing on the back two legs of the chair. Mary sighed and pulled out another piece of parchment. She would just have to redo her notes and hope Professor Kade wouldn't send a note home. She'd been doing so well, but this was only a minor setback. Her parents would have to understand. She had such a clean slate for much longer than she ever had before. That's the only thing that mattered now. Her grades were improving, no notes home, and her posture was even better than before – minus the incident this morning in the lavatory, but she'd already moved passed that.

She was on the right track. If she simply continued, things would be better. She'd feel better. Her dreams would be better. This was the promise they'd always told her, so it must be true. It had to be. With that to comfort her, her quill scratched away at the new runes they had to decipher.

 _Get back on track. Just get back on track._ Those words ran through her mind and she knew she'd work harder. She'd wade further and further out believing that she was getting somewhere. The reality was, she was treading water. That was all she'd been doing for several months now and if it continued, who knows if she would stay above the waterline.


End file.
